Thursday, May 31, 2012

Grading Girls

The boy loves Franco. The girl (c'est moi) loves HBO's "Girls". And obviously boy loves girl and vice versa. And girl has made boy watch "Girls" with her, not totally reluctantly I might add.

So when boy's love collided with girl's love and Franco wrote about "Girls" in "A Dude's Take on Girls" in Huffington Post, I had to debate his grade. I suggest you pause and read his article now so the rest of my post makes sense. And if you haven't seen "Girls", I suggest you get on it ASAP or at least, if you are a girl, recall what it felt like to be 24 and it will make more sense.

You're back? Good! Now...here are my "Girls" and here are my thoughts.

Some of my "Girls" - pre-digital photo era. Excuse the scan quality.

Firstly, when we graduated from college, which is the age of these girls, my friend base (my close girlfriends) were all a LOT like me. I mean, of my roommates, 6 of us were blonde and 6 were brunette, and we all had pretty similar backgrounds. The cultural diversity of my friendships didn't evolve until my late 20's. And even then, it wasn't necessarily my tight circle, which this show represents. So, as far as cultural diversity goes, the relationship with Adam who seems somewhat disenfranchised, seems "outside the box" for these girls at that age...or at least it seems that way to my once 20-something self. Lena also coined a response to this very criticism.

Secondly, I don't think Aidan or Big were 'dorks' on SATC. Quite the opposite...one was a power house business man and one was a romantic man's man...Steve is another story. Big dork. But perfect for Miranda. I'm still smarting from the time in my 20's that an ex boyfriend's best friend said I reminded him of her...

Thirdly, I think it will always be hard for adults to retain perspective of being 20. I think the way the guys are portrayed on the show is also part of Lena's perspective of what 'guys' are to girls at that age and the lack of communication and the assumptions made and the total compromise of your integrity (i.e. when he sent her a pic of his wanker and then a follow-up text "that wasn't for you" and she tried to explain it away.) It resonates so loudly with me. But I was also a girl in my 20's living in LA where stuff like what these girls on "Girls" are facing, thinking, and experiencing happened to us. We had some weird experiences and did some dumb stuff, but that's what you did then! We thought we were so old and mature and knew so much, but we didn't. And we probably still don't, but hindsight is always 20/20. Someone as A) male and B) experienced in SO many ways and C) intellectual to the nth degree like Franco might be over-thinking it...and that's partly because he didn't experience being a girl in her 20's.

I agree on getting a job, whatever it may be, for Hannah. Some homeless guy on the L train last night was stumbling through asking for money. He was legitimately obese. If you can be obese in this city, you don't need my money. I mean....ridiculous.

What do you think? 

Monday, May 14, 2012

'a Gatsby Affair' ...it's Spring Party Time!

As many of you know, I'm the President of the junior board for a non-profit organization here in New York City, The Children's Aid Society. We are hosting our second annual spring fundraiser, 'a Gatsby Affair', on May 23rd from 6-9 PM at the David Rubenstein Atrium at Lincoln Center. 

This year's party will feature an open bar, fantastic food from Tom Colicchio's 'wichcraft catering, an excellent tiered raffle, and amazing music and entertainment. 

Our beneficiary is The Hope Leadership Academy. Every year, over 300 families in Manhattan and the Bronx benefit from the Hope Leadership Academy. 95% of the families served are below the Federal Poverty Line, 4% are low-income and 1% have a modest income. Established to help low-income teens age 14-24, Hope trains youth to be community educators, advocates and leaders, and gives them the skills and self-confidence they need to make changes in their own lives, their neighborhoods, and beyond.

On Friday, I had the chance to hang out at Hope and see the participants celebrating "Women's Day" at the center. They had invited women that were important in their lives to Hope to enjoy an evening of great food (served by all the boys/men) and have their nails painted, play karaoke, make friendship bracelets, and be regaled by the talented young people at Hope. One of those special young women will be performing at 'a Gatsby Affair.' I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I've now seen her perform twice and it gives me chills every time! 

Come join us, see the special surprise, and celebrate this wonderful cause! 



Thursday, May 3, 2012

Early To Bed, Early to Rise...

Standing there waiting for the chair to collect me, an experience I've had thousands times over the past thirty years, it was almost like the first time. My feet felt unsure, my eyes unadjusted, something was missing. And then, before I could reassess my outing, I was swooped up and carried off. Into the dark. Up and up I was carried. My feet hanging below me, almost weightless in comparison with my past experiences. The cool air breezed all around me and I hunkered into my hood listening to the persistent humming of the chair and the relative silence below.

The day before I had been contemplating what I would do to celebrate Easter Sunday. We were skiing in Beaver Creek for the weekend and the mass schedules I had looked at were few and far between. But my very dear friend gave me the perfect solution...and what turned out to be the pinnacle of my trip.

Sunrise over the mountains
Sunday morning rolled around and the alarm sounded at 5:15AM. I quietly slipped out of bed, so as to not disturb the boy, layered myself with warm gear and departed for the base of the mountain. It was so early and so dark on Easter morning that part of me really felt like I could happen upon the Easter Bunny out hiding eggs and delivering yummy chocolate covered marshmallows and the like. Could have been the delirium of the early hour or my inner three year-old really holding out hope it could be true. As I crested the steps of the village, the silence was broken by the hum of the chairlift and a minor spotlight to help guide riders to the boarding spot. A handful of people boarded the chair for the top swiftly slipping into the dark night as they were whisked upwards. A sensation I experienced seconds later as I was lifted sans board or skis onto the chair and into the chill night breeze.

Sunrise Service Attendees
Atop the mountain, we all congregated in the mid chalet where coffee and hot cocoa (and jet puffed 'mallows!) awaited our arrival. A band played music while people listened peacefully, talked with neighbors, or peered out the window at the horizon in anticipation. Shortly thereafter, it began. The non-denominational sunrise service was wonderfully inspirational and full of hope and thoughtfulness for the day and months to come. Once the service concluded, we all gathered outside to see the highly anticipated sunrise while the most darling Austrian gentleman clad in lederhosen played "Saving Grace" on his alpenhorn. Truly sublime.

"Saving Grace"
Later (7 AM), people headed back to the chairlift to descend the mountain. I noticed two women head off in the direction we had skied down so many times in the previous days. Curious, I approached a ski patrol and inquired whether it was kosher to walk down. He said, "Sure, but it's quite a hike - about 4 miles - and somewhat tough in patches." No problem, I thought...this will be fun. And so I descended on foot and even caught up to the ladies where they were sliding down on their butts. It was late season and relatively icy and bumpy so I did have some battle wounds at the end (and on my end), but the sheer thrill of zooming down the mountain in the still twilight hours of the morning was exhilarating. I finished my adventure with a latte at the mountain base watching the ski patrol catch first tracks of the morning.
Alternative way down the mountain
Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Christ. A rebirth or re-awakening. My awakening that morning was one of the most refreshing I've had in a long time. And one I'll try to remember on other mornings when the day doesn't look quite so promising.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Revisiting Ghana

I had wrist surgery (minor) yesterday so I'm pecking at the keys one-handed. As such, I am re-posting the final, edited version of "Hey Bruni!" At one point, it looked like it was going to get published in the SFO Chronicle...that point passed so I am using this excuse to re-post it.

Hey Bruni!

“Hey Bruni!” they called in their sing-song cry, reaching to touch our sticky, dust-covered skin and pull our sweaty hair. “Bruni! Hello, what is your name?! Can I give you my e-mail?” Continuing our jaunt down the dirt street I peered at my travel companion, Justine, whispering, “Bruni?” She laughed, “Oh, it means, ‘hey whitie.’” Returning her laugh, I understood yet another unique facet of my Ghanaian adventure. Another new friend approached, inquiring, “Bruni, will you marry me?” Unrelenting, we conjured faux beaus who would be devastated by our acquiescence. Maneuvering the onslaught of mid-morning traffic past corrugated tin roofed mud huts and side stepping open sewage ditches in Cape Coast, we searched out the entrance to the castle just as the morning sun was beginning to kick up the heat.


Four months earlier, I was contemplating my safari attire after Justine invited me to join her for a week in Ghana. She was working at a NGO clinic for a month and I’d be meeting her to explore the country. Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Oh my! I daydreamed. To my dismay, I quickly learned my wardrobe planning was a bit naïve. You see, Western Africa does not have safaris - no tigers, lions or giraffes for this hopeful explorer; however, what Western Africa lacks in wildlife, it makes up for in quirky norms, intense history, and genuine hospitality. With an updated itinerary, we endeavored to explore Ghana from mid-country to coast, discovering the intricate production of Kente cloth, the hum of 10,000 vendors in West Africa’s largest open-air market, the history that engendered the Emancipation Proclamation, and a beach sojourn.
Thirty-two hours and three air planes later, I was flying over the Ghanaian countryside, a scenic and flourishing landscape. The panorama is lush and full of forests of high grasses, plantain, cocoa, and banana trees. Palm trees, golden hued sandy beaches that stretch for miles uninterrupted and a refreshing sapphire blue ocean define the coastline. Villages break up this scenery in mud and tin huts bunched along the roads.
In an attempt to thoughtfully plan our trip prior to departure, I found that Ghana was not on any list for “must see” or “top ten places to visit in Africa” so our itinerary was based off several shots in the dark and the one Ghana guide book (the oft-pathetic Bradt guide.) Travel boards mentioned ex-pat B&B’s and beach resorts “worth the splurge,” but bookings were done via e-mail, suggestions for inter-city travel implied eyebrow-raising challenges, and while Anthony Bourdain prepared me for local culinary delights, he proffered no explicit destinations.
Driving in our taxi to the bus station, a stucco portico housing six benches and a lot of Africans, I got my first real impression of Ghana outside the Swisshotel where we’d stayed our first night. People strolled en masse through the streets, the sun illuminating their beautiful ebony skin. I was affronted by the poverty watching children bathe with buckets of water, splashing in the garbage strewn dirt streets shared with live chickens and dogs running amok. Unlike more popular African destinations, tourists, particularly, Europeans and Americans are very few and very far between. The most up-to-date statistics state that as of 2006, about 60,000 Americans visited Ghana and only 20% of all 497,129 International visitors (no breakdown by nationality) were there on holiday. That’s compared with the 254,000 Americans that visited South Africa that same year.
Kejetia Market
Roads are lined with stalls made of corrugated tin, mud, wood or cement. The vendors’ wares run the gamut as well: mufflers, mattresses, tires, furniture, phone cards, you name it. You can literally see the impact of years of missionary efforts in the pervasiveness of Christianity. The “stores” have names like, “He is Good Shoes” and "God Bless you Business Centre" - I didn't see a Xerox or Fax machine in that 4 x 4 stall. "May you walk with him Beauty Salon" proffered images of braided coiffes. Literacy is on the rise but still relatively low (66% as of 2008) so signs are accompanied by illustrations. The medical hut offered images depicting sexually transmitted diseases and ailments, illustrated with an almost cartoonish quality.
Mid-country Culture
Kumasi, located in the Ashanti region, is the second largest city in Ghana. Our accommodations were a bed and breakfast operated by a Canadian ex pat and his wife, a Ghanaian he met 25 years ago as a Canadian Peace Corps volunteer. Chris and Charity were wonderfully hospitable hosts, engaging a guide to take us through Kejetia Market and get to the Kente weaving village of Bonwire, which was first on our list.
Christian
Chris drove us into town where we caught a tro-tro, a shared van, to Bonwire, a half-hour drive from the center of Kumasi. Kente cloth, a type of silk or cotton ceremonial cloth is native to the Akan people of Ghana and the Cote d’Ivoire, and Bonwire is known for weaving exceptional Kente cloth. Our wonderful guide, Christian, arrived to greet us donned in a red Che Guevara shirt; he was effeminate and chummy, defiant opposition to the revolutionary teachings his t-shirt advertised. He toured us around, educating us on how the yarn for the Kente cloth was spun, stretched, and woven, his commentary infiltrated with jokes followed immediately by his own infectious laugh.  

Christian allowed us to try our hand on the large weaving looms, requiring simultaneous use of your hands and feet to create the intricate patterns of the cloth. Christian demonstrated zooming the loom back and forth while shooting the spool through the threads at a staggering pace. While both athletic, Justine and I didn’t have the hand to eye to feet coordination apparently inherent to native ‘Bonwirians.’ Walking back into town, Christian grabbed a cocoa pod from the ground, cracking it open and offering us the seeds inside. They are slippery suckers but once in your mouth the seeds are succulent and refreshing, a perfect treat on a hot and humid day.
Thread
The following morning, we prepared to visit Kejetia Market, West Africa’s largest open-air market covering more than 12 acres (about 11 football fields). Chris had arranged for our guide, Comfort, to pilot us through the overwhelming maze of commerce. African music blaring from speakers lining the outer walls signaled our arrival. Once inside, I was overwhelmed. Everything was for sale and in such mass it was almost too much to absorb. There were corrugated tin roofs housing two-story “shops” and hundreds of thousands of people winding their way through the labyrinthine streets purchasing everything from fresh jojoba butter and school uniforms to bartering beads and machetes. Masses of people were bartering over carved wooden sculptures, grains and spices, shoes, you name it. We scurried along keeping close to Comfort as she knowingly ambled through the Kejetia streets stopping to explain things to us and introduce her "Bruni" to friends from her local village. Kejetia was hysterical, incredible, exhausting, and totally awe-inspiring.

Coastal Calamities
Knowing a new country means experiencing its culture and its history, a truth recognized recently by a relatively well-known American visitor, President Barack Obama. We’d also traveled to Cape Coast (and subsequently Elmina), to learn first hand about the slave trade, an unfortunate identifier of the Gold Coast of Africa. Originally constructed and occupied by the Portuguese and later British, both Cape Coast and Elmina castles memorialize horrific tales. Elmina is the oldest castle in Africa, built in the late 1400's. These forts, originally purported to host textile trading with the Ghanaians, became the last stop for slaves being sent to the Americas, Europe and eventually Asia. The captives were hunted in Northern and Central Ghana by their fellow countrymen and forcibly brought hundreds of miles to market here.

Hundreds of slaves were entombed underground with only slits in the upper walls providing minimal air and scant sunlight. If our group of 12 was suffering in the oppressive 100-degree heat and 100% humidity, sweat streaming down our bodies, we could only imagine the experience of the former occupants. We visited one chamber that measured about 20 x 12 feet and our guide explained that 200 male slaves were kept in there for 2 months without reprieve. The goal was to starve and torture the slaves so that only the strongest and most valuable survived, saving the captors money on food and reserving the "best" for sale. Our guide concluded our tour with an image, the last one the surviving slaves saw departing the castle. The fated few were led underground through a tunnel to the "Door of No Return" where they were loaded into slave boats destined for new lands and uncertain futures.
There are still boats outside the “Door of No Return”; today they are waiting for fishermen, not for slaves. The scene once dominated by European oppressors is now replaced with locally generated commerce. Hundreds of boats donning the Ghanaian flag rest on the shore awaiting sail. Fishermen sit seaside mending fishing nets. Men congregate on the beaches hauling huge nets out to sea on foot waiting patiently for the nets to fill before rhythmically tugging in their haul. We silently sat watching them perform their dance-like beat, contemplating the evolution of our surroundings.   
Leaving Cape Coast castle, neither of us was much for words. Before we could collect ourselves and reflect, we met a new Ghanaian friend, Gospel, reminding us that Ghana has more to offer than just tragedy. Gospel, a local artist, escorted us (I’m not sure we went willingly) around the town introducing us to locals. One young girl we met was preparing her family’s banku, a traditional dish. Her preparation consisted of pounding and fervently stirring heated maize flour, cassava and boiling water until it became a dough-like mass. Banku, is a typical Ghanaian dish served with a stew or protein. Famished after a long day, Gospel escorted us to Castle Beach restaurant, where we tried our own banku served with fresh grilled whole fish in a spicy pepper tomato sauce - absolutely divine.
Reflective R&R
Culture and History aside, a winter vacation wouldn’t be complete without some sun and sand. We prioritized a beach reprieve on the Gold Coast of Africa, renowned for its warm, blue waters and sunny sands. Still stateside, I discovered the charming Axim Beach Hotel. For $60 a night, (a splurge compared to our other $15-$30 accommodations) the resort offered our own round mud hut topped with a thatched roof, shell encrusted bathroom and a porch overlooking the ocean. Charming! There was AC but as it is run on solar power, we quickly discovered the light, TV, and AC cannot run simultaneously.
Axim Beach Resort
Relaxing on the beach, we reflected on the sensory overload of our week in Ghana. While Justine had been in country for a month, she’d been sheltered in a small village in the west. Traveling from town to town navigating public transportation, social interactions, deciphering directions and attempting to identify places to eat were cumulatively exhausting. Add to that my blatant foreignness (blonde, pale and green eyed), thus attracting immediate attention, underscored the rehabilitative bliss of hours on a semi-desolate beach.
There were no roars, stampedes, or kills in my first introduction to Africa, but my trip to Ghana certainly was my own unique safari. Images of Cape Town wineries and dramatic Victoria Falls were supplanted by UNESCO sites memorializing humanitarian atrocities and a cumulative cast of characters that seemed out of a comedy show. Every moment was its own story, every day an intricate journey. I found myself constantly bombarded with new sensations, emotions and observations, many I was unable to completely digest until weeks later. Returned to a familiar way of living where we were a natural part of the order of events as opposed to anxious observers, only then did I appreciate what I had just been exposed to, a unique world away from my circle of influence; a world that was home to new friends, Comfort, Gospel, and Christian.